This week has felt a bit of a let down. I finished a fantastic weekend at the Anusara workshop and hosting a sweet friend at our house... and thought that heading into the week I'd be riding high. Then the weather yesterday was really harsh, cold, windy, and wet, and despite a great morning session with an always-uplifting and inspired private client, I began to feel my energy dip as the day wore on. My day today started out alright today, but after a challenge early this morning I am feeling a bit de-centered. It's sometimes hard to follow my own advice to ride the wave with ease and contentment. Most of my struggles are internal. I have a beautiful, blessed life with many comforts and loving people supporting me. But feelings of joy and gratitude are so often tempered with feelings of doubt and remorse for things said and unsaid, mostly to myself... or ways I could have handled different situations. I feel often that I either say whatever pops into my head or that I fail to say something that is so obviously important upon retrospect, I silently curse myself (yes, me, curse myself!) for not thinking to say it.
I know I am not drinking enough water for the amount of classes I am teaching lately (14 this week!) and my breakfast too often consists of a Lara Bar (the banana ones are delicious, by the way) and a cup of coffee with soy milk. I need to learn more to pay attention to my body's needs (something I also preach but often fail to practice).
The sun has just come out and the weather is said to be warmer as the week progresses. I have a calmer (sort of) end to the week. Maybe I will go get a massage or something, break up all the gook that is clogging me up.
I sure wish someone had some smart, comforting words to make this feeling of heaviness drift away.
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