Yoga Sutra 2.3: Avidyasmita-raga-dvesabhinivesah klesah

"The causes of suffering are not seeing things as they are, the sense of "I," attachment, aversion, and clinging to life."

Today a student told me I was "awesome." I am not sure whether this is a good thing. Of course the ego in me (the sense of "I") loves it, is all over it, smiles broadly and pats itself on the back. But on the other side of all that celebration, it makes me wonder if too often I identify with the approval of others as the end-all be-all. Who doesn't love a compliment? Am I attached to this sort of affirmation? Am I averse to negative feedback? A critical word will set me back days sometimes and cause me to completely change course.

Rolf tells us that as teachers we need to "get over ourselves for the benefit of our students." (He's very fond of witticisms like this, and so often they are right on target. He also says that marriage is "getting over yourself for the benefit of the other person.")

I love a compliment, but the resulting lilting boost I get afterward evaporates when I realize that I don't know what that means. It's not like you can stop the person and say, "what exactly is awesome about me?" I'm not an expert at the 'performance' of asana. I trip over my words all the time, and laugh about it sometimes nervously. I have many, many shortcomings as a teacher in the area of adjustments, class construction, connection with students on a personal level, and just general self-confidence. I just move forward with faith that the love I have for teaching will shine and all the rest will take care of itself. All this self-doubt and the icky 'suffering' that comes up as a result... well, I'll just have to keep letting go of it and accepting that at least to one person, as a teacher, I am "awesome." Whatever that means. :)