Pride

"Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. ~Proverbs 16:18

In practice, I often think of this proverb, and I remind my students, 'Pride and ambition will get you hurt, humility will get you well.' Putting satya, or truthfulness, into practice on the mat is an exercise in humility. We tend to vacillate between our pride and ambition and our fear.Think of a posture that you have almost nailed. You're so close to mastering it that you can almost taste it. How tempting it is to push now, to let your ego step in and take you the rest of the way. But when we become ambitious, we lose sight of the point of our practice." ~Rolf Gates, Day 25, from Meditations From The Mat

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I am learning this lesson the hard way. About four months ago I severely injured my SI (sacroiliac) joint, on the left side. (To find this place, put your hands on the sacrum, right below the waist line, right above the bum, and feel around toward your left side where it feels as if there is a space. That area and the connective tissue around it is what is injured.) I was practicing in a group of advanced yogis and knew that the form we were practicing was not only not what I was used to or trained to do, but also felt painful to me. I did it anyway, because I wanted to keep up with the group. My pride and ego got in the way and caused me to practice without satya, the second yama. I have not recovered from this injury and it has kept bothering me intermittently. I am now challenged to live the other yamas and niyamas (for example, aparigraha, letting go that I can practice like everyone else; santosa, being content at the level I'm at, even if it means I must sit out some postures)... it's been extremely difficult as my professional life as a teacher grows and grows but my personal life as a student is in something of a holding pattern. I'm learning to practice without ego... but it's so hard!