Friday, February 13, 2009

Love and Yoga (an exercise for couples)

Showing true love for another person requires conscious choices in our words and deeds. It doesn't just have to happen on Valentine's Day. Do we really listen to what our partner is saying? Are we in the present moment with them, or are we thinking about our other obligations that day? Are we looking into our partners' eyes, or are we fidgeting about, eyes over here, eyes over there, hand on our keys or the doorknob?

Being present means choosing to connect in that moment. What are we waiting for? If we constantly are thinking about the past or the future, we are missing the beauty of the present moment. Even in our darkest, most stressful moments there is beauty to be shared.

If we are not in a relationship, our awareness of the present moment creates lasting and meaningful connection to people in our lives. We have the power to make or break someone's day, with a kind gesture or smile or word.

Learning to center our focus on the breath allows us to be truly present. We can use this pranayama, or mindful breathing, as a daily exercise and come back to it whenever we feel our mind and our awareness darting about. Whether you practice yoga or not, pranayama will help you to be a better friend, parent, spouse, or partner... a gift more valuable than any chocolate or flowers.

This is a great exercise to do with your partner. Have him or her read this to you slowly and take lots of time before switching places. With practice it will come naturally to you.

Simple Pranayama

Sit in a comfortable upright position in a quiet space. Allow the top of the head to extend up, as if a thread were pulling you up. Feel the vertebrae separate, allowing the tailbone to sink toward the ground. Place the hands lightly on the thighs or knees. Roll the shoulders back and release tension in the neck. Close the eyes. Relax the muscles of the face. Let the tongue hang loose in the mouth. Begin inhaling and exhaling deeply through the nose. Try to make your inhales and your exhales the same length. Try not to force the breath; try not to resist it. Notice where the breath goes in your body. Place your hands on the belly around the area of the navel. Feel the belly rise as you inhale; your hands will move out. On the exhale, allow the belly to sink inward and the hands follow. Try to notice the space at the end of the exhale; pause there briefly in that silence. Your thoughts are like this- there is space between them. Bring your awareness to the space between the thoughts. Find the peacefulness that is there. If thoughts come, and they will, simply let them float on by. Try not to attach any intention to them. Continue this breath for several minutes and slowly open your eyes.

If you like, you can close with the hands together in prayer position, and speak the following words: Namaste. The spirit within me honors the spirit within you.

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